The Divorce Coach

So, so often patience is a key factor in divorce.  It's often quoted that it isn't a sprint, it's a marathon and a very very long one at that often - and even more so if you end up in court.  You have little control over the legal team, and none over the court.  

Patience was something I'd to learn about - and it took a lot of practice, and when I found out what it really was all about, I smiled to myself, then laughed out loud and wondered why I hadn't got it before!

So when I was working with a lovely lady who was dealing with her second divorce while having a great relationship with a new partner who was also getting divorced, I was able to understand her frustrations.  The divorce was dragging on, the ex was poking a stick in everything, she knew where she wanted to go and needed it all to be over NOW.  When we started to look at the reality of the situation however it was apparent that although she did want it over, it wasn't actually the best time for her to have it over and done with - she had a few other things which had to get into place before she was ready.  It took a few weeks and a great deal of courage on her part to allow her to face some pretty monumental stuff in her life.  It didn't take long and the relief was palpable.  Only then could she set about preparing for her real new life, only then could she see that she had in fact being hindering the legal process in her own way. 

It so rarely boils down to just the other person.  There are things which you do, which they do and which we've all done which make the process more awkward, and laborious.   And what's the rush anyway - you think it can't wait, but if it can't what will happen?  Yes, you'll have to make another decision to deal with it, it might be tough, it might be distasteful, it might not be what you want - but who's to say that what you want is right for everyone concerned?

'Jackie is a super person!!! I had the amazing good fortune to be selected as a guinea pig for a group course she was piloting. While this was obviously connected with the divorce process, I was fairly stunned when in the initial one-to-one phone call she picked up on lots of issues that have plagued my life since childhood, not just the divorce stuff. Jackie is ready with all sorts of strategies to help with sticky points in one's life. What I value most of all is her humour, understanding, compassion, lack of judgement, and the amazing reinforcement I have received from her. Even at the worst moments, I have put down the phone after talking to her and found myself grinning from ear to ear! I recently invested in a half-day face-to-face session with her, and am buzzing as a result. Jackie is far more than a divorce coach and I would heartily recommend her to anyone who is looking for resolution concerning any sort of life issue. I owe you a lot, Jackie, go girl, go!!!'