The Divorce Coach

The concept of surrendering to anything is one which most folk find a challenge. It's very often in the moment of surrender though that you find peace, the stress leaves, the truth outs. Perhaps another word to use in the context I'm exploring surrender is acceptance.

Most often, the word surrender has come to mean surrendering yourself to someone else's power and tacked on the back is often the feeling that it's therefore disempowering and you would be a failure if you surrendered. I wonder if that's why we keep fighting and resisting.

Learning to let go of your need to be right while knowing you're not being wrong is surrender. It's only the need to prove yourself which is causing angst. Adopting new strategies and accepting that your old ones have not served you is surrender.

You can order a cappucino in Starbucks and when a latte appears you can surrender to the truth that you've got a latte. So what if you ordered cappucino - it doesn't change the fact that a latte appeared does it? To get upset and cross that you ordered one thing and got another isn't going to make a jot of difference to what's in the cup! Surrendering to the situation allows you to then take the next step in a calm and considered manner - and hopefully it's not wringing the barista's neck!

Wherever there's a power struggle - and in divorce there are many - it is the ability to step back, to see what is real and then take a considered step forward. There are power struggles going on in folk's heads all the time - money, new business, relationships, weather, what's on the tv.

Watch today and see what happens when you stop having to be right and prove yourself, you just might find that you become less critical. So often it's not such a big deal and the best bit - you can choose whether you want to be stressed about it or not!

Surrender to ease, surrender to fun, surrender to what is and not what you think it should be.

Jackie Walker

www.thedivorcecoach.co.uk