The Divorce Coach

How is it possible that divorce might just be the ultimate in honouring your ex?

Prompted by an interesting article in today's Scotland on Sunday Spectrum magazine titled Leap of Faith by Catherine Deveney I've given myself a pause for thought and reflection.  In the article she is interviewing and writing about Bishop Gene Robinson who is most famous for being an American gay bishop.  Without getting into the vagaries of homosexuality however there are some very astute and interesting points about us understanding ourselves and our ability to sometimes be able to take a leap of faith - and I'm not talking religiously. 

What I find fascinating though is the ability of people who have been through a struggle to find their way back and to hold their heads up high for owning who they are.  At one point in his darkest moments the Bishop says that he felt he had nothing but God and his integrity - and then he found out that that was enough.  He married believing his gay feelings to have been a passing phase.  He was completely honest with his wife when he met her and they agreed that should it crop up again they would find a way to deal with it.  When eventually it did - they honoured one another and respected one another for their differences. 

"They ended their marriage by going back to church. "We took a priest with us to the judge's chamber for the final divorce hearing, then we went back to his church and asked each other's forgiveness for any ways we might have hurt each other." Then they returned their wedding rings as a symbol that they were each releasing the other from the vows they had made. "We pledged ourselves to the joint raising of our children, we cried a lot, and then we had communion together," recalls Robinson. "It was one of the most healing moments of my whole life.""

In addition, the article quotes the Bishop saying that the only way the couple could keep their wedding vows to honour each other was to let each other go.  This particular sentence has really struck me with their honesty, respect and genuine love for one another. 

How often could it be better that we honour ourselves and our spouses by being honest.  And in that honouring we could uphold the vow for the rest of our lives.