The Divorce Coach

There is no denying it - this is one of the most uncomfortable non-surgical incisions that you will have. Given that about 30% of the population have already experienced this, you might feel justified in believing that it's ok to carry on as normal.

Only when you take this on board for yourself, do you discover, that normal just isn't normal. For many, the wait is years until they wake up one morning and realise that they aren't thinking about the heinous crime/him/her. What a dreadful waste of years - don't you think that they could have been used more fruitfully?

D'you think that divorce is so set up as a standard of awfulness, of pain, and misery that it means everyone has to suffer and they'll just get over it when they eventually can? Do you think that it might be a version of man flu, or poor me syndrome to ask for help? Is it honestly true that all those who have gone before you, and yes there are millions, could take it in their stride and move on? No. No. No. It is not true, and if you asked them all, they'd tell you as they tell me - ‘I wish you'd been around when I was going through my divorce x years ago'.

Why? It's a question I ask myself - do people feel that they have to suffer? And then I remind myself that until 2 years ago there was very, very little help for those thinking about divorce, in divorce or post divorce. In two short years, the social paradigm has changed - help has become available. My colleagues and I are very sorry to have taken this long to get to you - we had to go through it all, learn and come out the other side. But, we are here now and we want you to know that we are here for you.

There's a lovely story from the film Happyness with Will Smith when his son turns to him to tell him a joke -

A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says "Get in, get in!" The religious man replies, " No, I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle."

Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. He responds that he has faith in god and god will give him a miracle. With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again because "God will grant him a miracle."

With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in, mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help for the faith of God. He arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith and says to Peter, I thought God would grant me a miracle and I have been let down.

St. Peter chuckles and responds, "I don't know what you're complaining about, we sent you three boats and a helicopter."

(My thanks to the wonderful Richard Derwent Cooke for filling in my blanks)

Divorce is sore. Divorce is vicious. Divorce rips you to shreds and watches as you wince in pain. Divorce doesn't care BUT we do.

We care about you, we care about your family and your wellbeing. We care about the practicalities and your emotional health. Please stop doing it alone and reach for our help - it is never too late.

Jackie Walker

The Divorce Coach

Jackie@thedivorcecoach.co.uk

Jackie Walker is Master Practitioner of NLP, life coach and Spiritual Practitioner. She lives in Edinburgh and set up The Divorce Coach after her own challenging divorce experiences. Her methods help people instantly identify the real issues, challenges and obstacles of divorce and relationship breakdown and overcome them in easy stages.

Resources: Divorce Survival Report and Your Personal Relationship Audit are both available from www.thedivorcecoach.co.uk along with a raft of easily digestible information and her new ebook 7 Easy Steps to Stress Less Relationships. One to one consultations from £100 per month.